Friday, August 7, 2015

A 28 year old woman

Writing this as mainly an influx of thoughts. Being 28 really isn't easy in a suppressed country like India.

28 is when any woman is at a center point of seeing dreams materialize to reality or crash. 28 is when love fnds a way or dies.

28 is when she feels the pinch of being a father's daughter = a liability. All look at her - awaiting the wedding bells to rind or in other words, the death knell to sound crystal clear.

The mother turns the chief enemy - her own life an enema.  All this struck when my father said - "Now I will pay for you..till you marry." So, in essence, no matter the women emancipation and la di da.. every man sees the daughter an an onus and a transferable property!

And when I look at my so-called man, I find only fear crystallizing my every breath - questions haunt, daunt  and taunt.

For a person like me, marriage does not auger well - the thought is quite constrictive.
Maybe, escape is a sweet plan - not avenging the system.

Because Indian minds are just systems and flow in line - akin to an assembly line. Each responsibility is a duty - none led by passion.

Maybe, this sort of a world isn't for a dream lover like me. Choices seem little - but the only way is away, then.

Away could also = home which further equates to a man's heart. But when the man's mind is scattered, can the heart ever be mine?!

The 28 year old woman in me, stares at all the human figures her life has thrown her way. All seem very same and quite "Chinese!"

Interestingly, monotony plays a monopoly - people are used to the monotony of love and care but have been numbed by time to passion.

Time, in this context, I must add, is quite a physical commodity. Very common. Very malleable. Yet nonetheless, a paremeter of judgment. You gauge people by time - the time they take to finish a task, the time they take to react, the time they make for others and the time of course anyone wastes.

The 28 in me, sees time as a rival - the streams seem divergent mostly. The tides of time are curiously tied!

Maybe this whole rambling had no center point - or maybe that's exactly how our mind is.