Wednesday, July 16, 2014


My recent experience at Bhopal has left me with many thoughts to gather and tie strings to the various loops. Travel by self, is liberating - maybe it's the effect of the rains on my face and the pluviophilic mentality at ease with the green surroundings.

Yet, out of all the snapshots, one stands out and deserves special attention. I have always been in awe of single and working mothers - and this sealed it for me.

To be added here - I do NOT understand why we stress on 'working women / working mothers' as a category - as if it's still niche here in the regressive country! Or, that kids are such cattle, that to breed, you must be bereft of any sense of purpose in life!

Anyway, the experience was of a mother traveling with me - who shared my room in one of the finest hotels I have stayed so far - and in due course reminded me of my own Mom.

Must have been the Bong connection and the fair skin - and the ready , wide and beaming smile !

The rains had spoilt the wifi connectivity - so expressions online remained rather aloof. Yet, battling the odds, sharp at 8, she rushes back to her room to receive a call on Skype.

The Bengali endearments, were at once known, delved into and much missed! That moment was a self awakening of having traveled (strayed ?!) from roots?!

The face on the other side of Skype loomed large to show a teenager - staring back at her mother. The researcher / just the very curious person in me - leaned in, as inconspicuously, closer to the phone- to hear the conversation. To my amazement, the conversation had no words - just gestures - as if it was a dumb-charade.

All I could watch in awe, were the myriad expressions that crossed the mother's face - from joy, to concern, to love to pure motherly care.

Hanging up, I could see her eyes glistening. Distance from her child, must have been one of the triggers for the lachrymal glands - but it was more to do with the purity of perseverance.

Her 15 year old daughter had lost the ability of speech due to a viral infection. Her mother had been at odds to give up her career and be a stay at home mother or keep working - which in effect would affect her to be uncaring. She chose the latter. Society could not encode her behavior - she was sure of her actions that could proclaim love and leave aside any profanity of thought / intent.

The daughter stayed with the father- for the times she traveled - and there was perfect symmetry in their relationship architecture to parachute the problem.

Harmony can come through with actions aligned to the best interests of everyone involved. Harmony cannot be achieved through suppression or compromises.

The mother had realized that if she gave up working, she would not be happy - which would bring upon negativity on the entire household. Perhaps, that would further impact her daughter's already feeble mentality. Indirectly, she must be teaching her daughter, on how to be strong too - and carry on despite malignments unnatural to dreams.

Self-liberation comes with an achievement of your own identity - in your eyes, you are still somebody with an independent image - that is distinct from what anybody thinks. Maybe that's what makes a person be seen with a perspective. Maybe that's what stirs emotions in others too. But to follow societal codes of happiness.would be leaving reigns of your own  joy in an unseen's hands - who will never see through.

Maybe, we never find, anyone who completes us - because we all are trans-migratory souls in space - all fluid and always in a juxtapose. But then, isn't self-realization and self-actualization a best possible solution for inner peace! To feel complete again - would again be shedding a pertinent part of you, to the trust, promise and presence of anothers'.

Love for oneself, must  be supreme. A child maybe a part of you - but in the end, are you happy following the child's dream or living one of your own?