Monday, October 28, 2019

Small town boy

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The cave-man is often an allegory that is abused. When used, causes ruffles and ego hurts - however deep-down everyone knows the truth. Plato, in one of his theories, had brilliantly used the allegory to talk about the shackles of ignorance that blinds us from our 'goodness purpose'

All that is great - if the cave-man inside is a beast that reduces your consciousness to mere dot instead of being the infinity unto itself. Instead of the Pygmalion effect - the cave-man causes the corollary - the famous (or infamous) Goleth effect.

Now, why would I delving deep into the cave-man today? Its my food for thought for today - something I'd been avoiding for the last 8 years

Perceptions - or the trap of it - causes you to close your eyes willingly to the signs that stand out blatantly - for you to acknowledge if not pay heed to.

You meet someone - eyes and mind glaze over by suaveness. The concept of 'man' gains a new definition and form. With every passing year, you find the magnitude of thoughts expound in magnanimity of his being - you wonder what you did to earn such luck!

His words glide through - a smokescreen to the craggy hemisphere. His mannerisms engulf - and finally suffuse. His demeanor so gentlemanly - yet finally unearthly!

When you flow into the comfort zone, you will yourself to cross the tepid waters to be yourself - un-peeling all your layers - to reveal the self made of simplicity. You gall yourself to face him - with a face devoid of make-up and naked eyes kohl-unlined. It takes courage to show the true self - made of nothing but a wonderment of being and exploring. The concept of togetherness gains harmony - regains trust.

The child in you finds faith in the innocence - the hand you hold assures you of the safe path ahead. You find shelter and security in the broad shoulders - the musk of the cologne familiar yet so fresh. Life is a refreshing concept again - livable once more.

Cheeks aflush, eyes rosy - the future looks bright in the tinted glasses.

Then you see the cracks. When what you supposed as normal in your growing up days - suddenly gets questioned. Suddenly there is a barrage of words - garbage akin they fall on you. Instead of rosy petals - you find yourself shrouded with the fallen leaves.

The naked truth finally glares at your face - while you stare at the perfect picture torn into pieces.

You're labelled the most common word in the dictionary - which all insecure men reserve for their women - when threatened. You find that label then suddenly defining your self worth and life.

Every day then just drags on. The cave-man has revealed its true beastly form - he is made of violence, putrid fury and insecurity. He lashes out at the woman. He strikes her and labels her some more.

Finally when he reaches out to her kids in the same fury - she snaps finally!

She decides that she has no time for the cave-man. The 8 years were the black-hole of energy, space and time.

She sees through his facade - and his charade to be the metro man. Despite years of education, degrees and almost 2 decades of work experience - he is at heart, a small town boy : insecure of the city girl and her ways.

His face then permanently remains etched in her memory with a sneer. His presence becomes a  jeer unto itself. He fades away - as she takes strides away from him. Because she is the city girl "made of bold" - no time for the "old"

She feels nothing but pity for him and hurt at the lost time. Yet, through it all she has learned. The mental checklist has emerged and the coolness to nerves has been restored.




Sunday, October 27, 2019

Inkaar!

Inkaar is a movie that has run parallel to my life. The plot is the pallbearer of #METOO perhaps. I had seen it once, at a happier time of my life - and yet again now when life has taken  180 degree turn.

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The film brought to life, emotions forcibly suppressed. The music had the eerie tones of faded nostalgia. Familiar tears pricked eyes - the sea-salt taste merged with the bitterness of being.

We all chase the eternal concept of love - to last a lifetime. Yet certain actions reduce it to ephemeral. The romance is perhaps is in the chase then.

What if burnt expectations and lost dreams, twist the deep-seated love into pure hatred? Does hatred consume you? When is the moment that you realize that its not you, but your id suffused with hatred - that has given your voice a hard edge and your demeanor the sharpness?

The film roves through the bitter-sweet journey of love's labor lost and words chosen to be unsaid. Instead actions that spoke louder than words - were enough to push each other away. Yet, the underlined reasoning was basis the purity of emotions.

Question therefore, in the turbulence of life - when all is distant and self -access is remote too - lost in the virtual threads of the many realities we wade through each - is it possible to subvert hatred into its pure form of love?

Are they really the two sides of the same coin?
Can they exist without each other? And what about with each other?
What if the hatred is too deep to let go - yet your entire being cries for its release?

What really is the path to light?