Wednesday, September 30, 2015

An Ode to a Marriage?

If I were YOU
and YOU were ME

Would this world
any different be?

I would do
What you now do

How I did it
You would've no clue

You would make
Errors of mine

and I would scorn
Please do not whine

I would cook
While you lay and smile

You'd do the dishes
Till I lay a while

You would be fat
and I would be fit

Well.. I am not
Complaining about that bit

You would be calm
when I would go mad

And i would make peace
if your day has been bad

But when going gets tough
we would be WE

There'd be no you
There's be no me

Brave face we would put
For the world to see

Deep inside though
scared we would be

You would shout
No... wait ....that would be me

See how confusing
It can all be?

So better you are you
and I am me

A Perfect world
it will never be

Friday, August 7, 2015

A 28 year old woman

Writing this as mainly an influx of thoughts. Being 28 really isn't easy in a suppressed country like India.

28 is when any woman is at a center point of seeing dreams materialize to reality or crash. 28 is when love fnds a way or dies.

28 is when she feels the pinch of being a father's daughter = a liability. All look at her - awaiting the wedding bells to rind or in other words, the death knell to sound crystal clear.

The mother turns the chief enemy - her own life an enema.  All this struck when my father said - "Now I will pay for you..till you marry." So, in essence, no matter the women emancipation and la di da.. every man sees the daughter an an onus and a transferable property!

And when I look at my so-called man, I find only fear crystallizing my every breath - questions haunt, daunt  and taunt.

For a person like me, marriage does not auger well - the thought is quite constrictive.
Maybe, escape is a sweet plan - not avenging the system.

Because Indian minds are just systems and flow in line - akin to an assembly line. Each responsibility is a duty - none led by passion.

Maybe, this sort of a world isn't for a dream lover like me. Choices seem little - but the only way is away, then.

Away could also = home which further equates to a man's heart. But when the man's mind is scattered, can the heart ever be mine?!

The 28 year old woman in me, stares at all the human figures her life has thrown her way. All seem very same and quite "Chinese!"

Interestingly, monotony plays a monopoly - people are used to the monotony of love and care but have been numbed by time to passion.

Time, in this context, I must add, is quite a physical commodity. Very common. Very malleable. Yet nonetheless, a paremeter of judgment. You gauge people by time - the time they take to finish a task, the time they take to react, the time they make for others and the time of course anyone wastes.

The 28 in me, sees time as a rival - the streams seem divergent mostly. The tides of time are curiously tied!

Maybe this whole rambling had no center point - or maybe that's exactly how our mind is. 

Friday, March 27, 2015

Edie Britt!

As I start typing, emulating my best role as the Yellow Journalist, I am wonder-struck at my choice of topic today. Edie Britt! The woman, I had hardly cared about - but suddenly, see her in a new light.

Well in Desperate Housewives, she died today- raising in my nubile mind- many questions. My discourse then runs the channel of these questions.

Mostly as I see and sense from my own moral high ground- why I dislike Edie ..

  1. Does not have a fixed direction in life
  2. Sex appeal is haywired. Her intentions are "wrong"
  3. Manipulating - or shall I say MENipulating?!
  4. Cannot value bonds
  5. Cannot stick to one.
But wait! As I wrote these down.. my own vox at the back of my head, started mocking me.

 First - who am I to judge her? Being judgmental, curiously gives one a mantle piece undeserved!

Second- did I just say these lines/ words? Did this just make me a femi-chauvinist (for the lack of a better word as the Dictionary has not invented any so far to sum up my feelings or angst about me being a woman and castigating another in the light stereotypical ethos).

Whoever designed labels, tags and stereotypes anyway? To follow is to be safe?

Throughout the series, Edie, has been strongly disliked by the women around. Who are these women? 
  1. housewives
  2. gossip mongers
  3. typical moms
  4. "friends"
Life as people live it is a linear process from behind the curtains till the curtains fall. In each segment of this process called life, we live behind several dimensions of masks. Each moment archetypes our character to bring out shades of us- that we best choose to suit the occasion!

Yes, our subconscious is clever. Cleverer than we credit it to be!
It plays out our roles and makes us enact in our roles- without letting us in the know that would obviously let our guards down.

Quite a genius this mind of ours is then! It plays tricks on us, fools us, yet shows us a way of life, we can never imagine!

That is well - for  most of us anyway... those of us, who choose to live an idealized life, but are thwarted by the realities to see another face of life!

While for the handful minority, like our Edie here, who dare to know the subconscious and play along than be played with. Edie knew her id. She knew her core- which let her be free. One of the few women who dared to call a spade a spade. 

She was therefore, free in her sexuality, conduct and socialization - that made her confident, brass and bold. Qualities we all secretly admire, but stay aloof and dumb on. Herd / heard mentality, you see!

There was indeed another side to Edie. The deep , thoughtful, perceptive and imaginative person. She sensed others well, was astute to read men and guide women and be there as a friend to help most. All she'd wanted was a shoulder to cry / lean on and a trusted hand to hold onto - before she poured out her heart of gold and showered one with love.

But, Edie being Edie- never got what she wanted. Instead she wandered and wondered. Her meandering ways, caught the fancy of many - who promised her the eternal sunshine but gave her the ephemeral puerility that always shattered. 

Men viewed her therefore as an object. She had not objected too. Perhaps, this was her folly. To obviate the shallow shadow she chose to leave upon as her impression. Only with Carlos, did the veil unmask itself - and it was lovely to see the real person behind the make-up, colors, light and glamour. 

As her story ran its own pages, she found herself alone and then used. 

Women like her get used easily - only because underneath all the brouhaha they are beautiful people and more humane / compassionate than any living being. 

Women like her are really strong - in character, choice, voice and stead. They demand little of what they deserve- primarily because they do not choose to the follow the herd. They live the lights of life - and look forward to the beautiful tomorrows always.. because they know they have the courage to face any phase of life independently. 

Edit Britt, comes along as a stark revelation and a mirror to one's own character. She is that dark moment of truth, that subtle turning point in your life, through her deep and incisive understanding of your own depth. She knew how to live and embody a *been there done that* outlook to life.

Women like Edie Britt deserve respect.
And as I write, she reminds me of a very much known shadow close to home!

Friday, March 20, 2015

Yangon Times

My recent trip to Yangon deserved the pen-craft that the mind's harbor could seek.
Going Far East, is perhaps a stepping stone to an MR career as you're suddenly at the threshold of a developing country.

Suddenly you're a Foreigner - regarded with suspicion and awe.

Stepping into the city, was a feeling of stepping back in time. While you have the modern cars swishing past you and you keep ogling, at the same instant you're suddenly thrown the tidbit of knowledge that cars only were sold in Myanmar since last year!

The city is a mix of old and new- a surprising contrast that seems interesting given the cultural context. A part of me felt that Myanmar was being forced to develop! Modernity, was a force-fit! Maybe that charm which could wrap the city in its bloom, would soon be "deforested" - leaving the city naked to the prying eyes of urbane cosmopolitanism.

Yes - there indeed is a thirst to be "new" - be at par with the innovation that strikes the world at large, That's mostly a thin layer - below the crust, is a sharp sign of contentment of being and living in the much familiar everydays.

Lots of Indians bespeckle the streets- amazingly they have denied all Indianness and declare themselves Burmese with a hint of pride. Come to think of it, pride runs like a subtle undercurrent in all the Burmese - they are unabashedly unapologetic - and that's the way it should be!

Maybe it's the curious mix of Buddhism with the culture that has given an edge of serenity to the place. Boasting of richness, splendor and quiet glamour, Yangon stands firm in it's tradition - looking towards modernity sweeping in, with its winds of change.

What strikes to an Indian girl walking on the streets first - is that the city is amazingly safe! In a land, mostly known for rape, she is always draped with doubt - ready to pounce on any male offender- on the tenterhooks almost! But at Yangon, there is a much gendered respect and mutual acknowledgment of co-existence that's endearing. This starts, from their traditional dress - longyis  for men and women!

In every Burmese face, you see a smile - a welcome against the slyness of the Indians. There is a heartening warmth that exudes and bring any Foreigner to its embrace.

Simplicity is a much treasured way of life - not warped against time. No-one seems to be in a hurry to be in a rat-race. In fact, Myanmar is a very functional zone when it comes to products. They like it that way - on the face and direct! :)