Today I read a report on a German striker - fondly called The Kaiser after Beckenbaur- who never kicked a football in his life but was avidly celebrated the world over - and sought after for International Club sign-ups/ sponsorship. In his celebrated career of 14 years, he never managed to score a single goal - always faking an injury or a death in the family as powerful excuses. Yet his popularity reigned - paid popularity. He paid to have fans scream his name, he doctored videos of famous goals proclaiming he scored them and even tricked major football leagues to fall for his fallacy of Greatness.
You could read about him here - https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2018/07/25/kaiser-greatest-footballer-never-play-football-meet-legendary/
When probed on his deception in his senior years, he blamed his adoptive mother to hurt his inner child and mar childhood. At merely 10 days, his adoptive mother stole him from his own mother. When he was 10 years old, she put him in a football school to enable him to pick up the beautiful game.
She may have wanted him to learn an "extracurricular activity" as we Bengalis are so fond of picking up or may have felt the sport would help him grow up to be a more competitive human being kindred on ethics of team spirit.
However, "we see what we want to see"
Kaiser, perceived his adoptive mother to "torture" him, and put him in a sport for which he had no love. He felt at that time, it was his own mother who had wanted him to learn football in order to leverage it for commercial means.
When he realized the truth, he felt traded off - the truth of his "abduction" sat sorely in him for which he quickly made himself believe that his purity at formative years had been compromised with.
He started avoiding football and his deception soon became a skill set which he capitalized on to make his mark as a celebrated player - but in reality was just a successful ruse.
Another event I want to note down which happened in synchronicity was watching Kaarwaan. Most of the underplayed Hindi movies are usually better than the A-listers. After long, a movie had a story - clearly relate-able and enjoyable.
The story had a son as the protagonist who had been informed of his father's sudden demise in an accident. Normally Bollywood reveres emotions - melt downs, break downs and drama are celebrated hallmarks of acting. Here, lay a refreshing tale of a son, who was perfunctory about his duty towards last rites for his father - but the emotional attachment was completely amiss. There was no sign of grief - much less a tear : such a treat! On the other hand, while crossing South India on a dead body exchange trip he comes across a "loose" carefree teenage girl who lived by ethics of a cool mom and grand-mom.
I found both these instances very striking. And since I attracted these thoughts, I found more articles and books referring to the same lack of emotional attachment with parents.
Perhaps now, a new normal is okay to admit that you may have less emotions with parents. Its okay to understand the weight of scars thrust onto your childhood by your educated parents - with their bickerings, negativity or simply denial. Its okay to understand that you grew up to be a different and a distinct breed of an adult compared to your parents - your parents are not the hallmarks of ethics, love, value and respect. You have your own definitions - un-prescribed by societal expectations and are on the journey to heal or simply reverse damages to your inner child caused by our elders.
Many a times, we are numb-dumb to what goes on around us. We are spectators of our own lives - mainly because we are too scared to admit what we feel inside or even venture out of our comfort zones to know more.
When we retrospect, many a times, we are scared to humanize our parents from the demi God status society has prevailed upon to accept unquestionably.
Its when we do that we realize the fallacy - the bubble bursts. What we choose to do with our emotions then must solely be upon us to decide on - society, relatives or even parents cannot ever impede or impose their own understanding.
Is it a discrepancy of cultural understanding or merely understanding the power of formative years? We have known always how important childhood is to enable us to grow up into value led , ethical champions of our tradition. But what about our E.Q,? If not in childhood then when?
Kaiser may have misconstrued what his adoptive mother had intended. But, when he felt his root was shaken, he too easily fell apart - as his foundation may not have been based on "softer emotions". Just a conjecture - but he did resort back to the "hurt" of his childhood to turn out the cheat he reared himself to be.
"Take care" should be our mantra now. Take care of our souls, our innocence, our inner child which we today as adults have access to (for any repair or simply nourishment) and mainly of us as we perceive / chart ourselves to be. We go back to go forward - progress now must take into account the power of healing.
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