Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Man-U ???

This account comes as a form of self-awakening. In fact a lot of soul searching and face-to-face with frayed facts could only lead me down this road of jotting down some of the key questions, inferences and nascently formed strong beliefs regarding the vitality of co-existence with another species.

Well, the species in question is something called a Man. I wonder what that is. Or how people view the structure as. Albeit the anatomy, wonder what makes others associate the frame to strength, stability, shelter, security and power?

Obviously, to this general cattle, there must be some exceptions. Quite rare - probably on its way to extinction too - or probably myths like Yeti.

Constructs of masculinity vary across historical and cultural contexts.The extent to which masculinity is a result of nature or nurture, a matter of what someone is born with or how they are socialized, has been the subject of much debate.

But is it really nurture that drives the being or how the man himself grooms his nature to be in his adult years? How does he perceive himself and is there any correlation through the looking glass to his public and private selves?

Is the stress on his masculinity code quite taxing - making him forgo his own eros in search of an identity reflecting collectivity? To be or not be - HE - is it the question that predominates most thoughts when men decide what they want / should do. In fact, as I get acquainted with most, I steadily feel that more men are geared to choosing what they should do / ought to do than choose to do what they want to. Is it the dogmatic society driving actions?

So, when we view the category codes, do they constrict life - not only for men but also women. Does the micro view deny the larger picture of accepting masculinity is all its shades? When women think of men, or see them in their flow of life, do they adhere to a vision or see the reality as it is. Then , I am forced to question, whose is the greater view - the men who have to be men or the women who must see them as one?

For women , I guess, a man's man is someone who stands up  - for them and themselves.

Recently I came across this picture that made me further ponder on this issue -

Do men really know what their women want of them ?And are they scared of showing their real selves?

A man is always viewed as the breadwinner- no matter the societal progression.He must earn and take care of his progeny and dependents. But what if his heart lies somewhere else - and he denies it all to himself to follow the one course in life that history books have recorded time and again. So, if HIStory gets enmeshed in the flow of life, is he questioned on his masculinity?

When I read Amit's post earlier, about how divorces generally start with the notion of the men being questioned / suspected, I felt that this society has quite a harsh view on manhood. If the man in question, slips his standard of being a so-called man, then instantly he is emasculated and tagged.

Tags stigmatize dreams - cutting short a free living.  So many men, flowing through consequences of codes, resign themselves to roles assigned. We easily glare or stare at the man as he de-mans himself.

Funneling my random thoughts to one central question - when women see men, which is the parameter they judge them by - brains or balls? Balls to stand up or brains to sit out ?

Well .. this is a continuous debate raging through my mind- slashing with other thoughts. I still wonder what a 'man' is ...

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